Legendary Car Rivalries Reimagined as High School Drama
If cars went to high school, the hallways would be full of drama. Here's how the classic rivalries would play out in an educational setting.
Welcome to Motorhead High
The bell rings. The parking lot fills with tension. Welcome to a school where the rivalries are measured in horsepower and grudges last for generations.
The Jocks: Muscle Car Row
Ford Mustang
The popular quarterback. Everyone knows him. He's been at this school since 1964 and never lets anyone forget it. Tends to show off in the parking lot with predictable results. Has beef with literally everyone but mostly Camaro.
Chevrolet Camaro
Mustang's eternal rival. Showed up two years later specifically to compete. They've been fighting for prom king every year since. Currently on a "break" from school (discontinued) but everyone knows he'll be back.
Dodge Challenger
The biggest kid in school. Shows up with more muscle than anyone asked for. Thinks subtlety is for the weak. Still hasn't been redesigned since he got here in 2008 but insists it's "timeless."
The International Students
Porsche 911
The exchange student from Germany who's been here since 1963. Incredibly consistent. Your parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents all knew a 911 at school. Quietly judges everyone while maintaining perfect grades.
Corvette
Used to be jealous of the European kids. Recently got a mid-engine makeover and now sits at their table. Still American at heart. Will remind you the Nürburgring time at any opportunity.
The Drama
BMW vs Mercedes (The German Rivalry)
They sit at adjacent tables in the cafeteria and pretend not to notice each other. Both claim to be the "ultimate" something. Their parents are lawyers. They argue about which one's family business is more prestigious.
Toyota Supra vs Nissan Z (The JDM Beef)
Both just transferred back after years away. Everyone expected them to be best friends but they're actually incredibly competitive. Supra keeps getting called "BMW" behind her back and is sensitive about it.
Tesla vs Everyone (The New Kid)
Showed up, disrupted everything, and won't shut up about being the future. The muscle car kids hate him. The European kids pretend he doesn't exist. Somehow still popular with the general student body.
The Cliques
The Hot Hatch Crew
GTI, Civic Type R, GR Corolla. Sit together at lunch talking about FWD being underrated. Surprisingly fast in gym class. Budget kings with attitudes.
The Off-Road Gang
Wrangler, 4Runner, Bronco (newly returned). Always muddy. Skip class to go "off-campus." Judge everyone's approach angles.
The Practical Kids
Camry, Accord, Civic (non-Type R). Don't understand what all the drama is about. Will still be here, running perfectly, after everyone else has graduated/been scrapped.
Prom Night
Mustang brings his date but gets too excited leaving and spins into the crowd. Camaro would have won prom king but wasn't there. Porsche 911 shows up looking exactly like she did in 1963, somehow still perfect. Tesla's date fell asleep on the way because Autopilot was driving.
The drama never ends at Motorhead High. But that's what makes it interesting.
Know the Players
Want to actually understand what makes these rivals tick? Dive into our Encyclopedia for detailed specs on every car mentioned, or use Compare to see how they stack up head-to-head. Knowledge is power in any rivalry.
