The Top 10 Excuses for Buying Another Car (That Never Work on Your Spouse)

The Classics That Never Work

10. "It's an Investment"

No, Brad, your 2006 350Z with 180,000 miles is not "appreciating." Neither is that E46 with a blown head gasket. The only thing appreciating here is your delusion.

Success Rate: 0.3% (only works if it's actually a 1967 Mustang Fastback in barn-find condition)

9. "It Was Too Good of a Deal to Pass Up"

Ah yes, the emergency purchase. "Honey, I HAD to buy it—at that price, I was basically losing money by NOT buying it!" This logic somehow only applies to cars and never to the shoes she wanted.

Success Rate: 2% (requires proof of actually insane deal, which means something is probably wrong with it)

8. "It's Actually More Practical"

Nothing says "practical" like explaining why you need a Wrangler for those twice-yearly camping trips you've been meaning to take. The Camry was doing fine, but sure, let's add $700/month for "practicality."

Success Rate: 5% (only if you immediately use it for its "practical" purpose)

7. "I Need a Winter Car"

The winter car is the gateway drug of the car enthusiast. Once you have two cars, the floodgates are open. "Well, now I need a track day car so I don't put miles on the good car..."

Success Rate: 15% (actually somewhat logical in snow states)

6. "It'll Be Great for the Kids"

Spoiler: A manual transmission Miata will not, in fact, be great for the kids. They can't reach the pedals, and car seats don't fit. But it sure will be great for your "I'll teach them to drive stick one day" fantasy.

Success Rate: 8% (only works for actual practical family vehicles)

5. "This One I'll Actually Finish"

The project car gambit. There are currently two other "project cars" in the garage, one has become a very expensive shelf, and the other hasn't moved since the Obama administration. But THIS one is different.

Success Rate: 1% (track record speaks for itself)

4. "My Buddy Is Selling It"

The peer pressure purchase. "I have to buy it—he's my friend!" As if friendships are contractually maintained through vehicle transactions. Your buddy would also sell you his broken lawn mower; that doesn't mean you need it.

Success Rate: 3% (sympathy factor helps slightly)

3. "They Don't Make Them Like This Anymore"

The nostalgia card. Yes, they don't make cars without airbags, crumple zones, or functional air conditioning anymore. There might be a reason for that.

Success Rate: 10% (classic cars have cultural cachet that can occasionally justify the insanity)

2. "It'll Pay for Itself"

The delivery driver delusion. "I'll do DoorDash! Uber on weekends!" Nobody has ever bought a fun car and then wanted to put 30,000 miles a year on it delivering Thai food to strangers.

Success Rate: 0.5% (math never works out)

1. "...Sorry, It's Already in the Driveway"

The nuclear option. Skip the negotiation entirely and deal with the consequences later. Technically has a 100% success rate at vehicle acquisition, but a significant failure rate at relationship preservation.

Success Rate: 100% at getting the car, 2% at staying married

The Honest Approach

Here's a revolutionary concept: just be honest. "I want this car because it makes me happy, and life is short." You might be surprised. Or you might be sleeping on the couch. But at least you won't be lying about your non-existent DoorDash income projections.

The truth is, if you're a car person, you're always going to want one more car. It's not a bug; it's a feature. Find someone who understands that, or at least someone who has their own expensive hobby they need you to tolerate.

Find Your Next Excuse... Er, Car

Ready to start building your case for that next purchase? Our Car Finder helps you discover the perfect sports car based on your preferences, budget, and priorities. At least this way you'll have data to back up your "investment" claims.

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